Hanging out with Cortez

After long summer, I finally had time to hang out with Cortez. We used to spend so much time together before, now, both traveling, so every so and then we have a chance to have fun.
He is one of very few guys who are able to Juggle Multiple girls without any problems. For him its like 2-3 girls in a fish tank. You feed them every few days, and they are happy. Strategy he uses is very well knows, its keeping them as separate objects in his life.He never talks about other girls, when this topic comes out, he avoids topic..
Its funny to watch, like most of his girls are aware that hes seeing and f**ing other girls, but they enjoy hes company so much, that they don't matter.
One of girls found tampons and toothbrush from other girl, after some drama, she is still back.

Some stories from his world are so funny... I enjoy time with him. Hes very good example of Natural Player... I learned from him so much.
Badboz

Carpe Diem DVD's

Finally!
I am so Happy. Because I made something really really cool!

No more boring seminar rooms. This DVDs are all about Lifestyle and Picking up girls.

Best DVDs ever!!

Check it out : http://www.badboylifestyles.com/webUI/CarpeDiem/badboy_dvd.html

Badboy

Badboy School

Wanna see Cortez & Badboy in Action?

Wanna see how Direct approach should look like??

Watch this Free video training, then go out and do it!

Badboy School - Video Trainings

Sad statistics

Had interesting realization today..

Probably you know that Female sex Organ is 5cm longer then Male sex organ.

Now, that on planet there is more then 3 billion females, that means that more then 150 thousand's Kilometers of PUSSY is EMPTY.

Gusy.. we really need to do something about this!
:)

Badboy

Picking up 9's and 10's

Picking up 9's and 10's

Most guys believe that 9's and 10's are super hard to get and that you need to have ultra strong game. Which is not true. The Game you play on those girls is just different. It’s not harder or easier, just different!

It’s the same effort and it takes same time, but the style of game is very different. In some ways gaming 7's can be harder then 9.5's.

Let me explain.

7's and 8's – dont want a total chump – nice guy, they want a guy who is kinda strong(Alpha), so they can rely on him(insecurity problem), BUT at same time, she wants some kind of emotional connection with him(Rapport).

So your game needs to be calibrated so fucking good for those girls. You will need to calibrate how dominant you are to get good Attraction, and how much Rapport you need to pull her into bed. Every girl is going to be different. It's very personal how much Attraction\ Rapport she needs. There are so many factors that controls this ratio, and formula is complicated.

Here are a few factors :

-Parents ( who is more dominant in house ) - they always search for a father role in future BF
-First sexual experience \ First boyfriend (for example, if guy was cheating her she will search lots of rapport & trust in next guys who come, and less Atraction)
-Last boyfriend (If guy was bad in sex, she will go for guys who are more dominant, sexual.
-Her friends (her friends have lot of influence on her, and she will mirror their value)

So probably now you understand why its not possible to tell how much attraction or rapport she may need before you start talking with a girl. It’s almost impossible to create prefect model thats going to wok in every case. That’s why those 7's and 8's require a shitload of calibration.

Rule of thumb is that those girls need way more rapport then attraction.
CA - LI - BR - ATE

With very very beautiful & sexy girls, ( 9's and10's ) it’s a very different story.
FIRST Lets take a look what's happening in their life :

- Parents know how beautiful she is, and they treat her whole life as a Diamond.
- In a High School she is a Princess, and guys starting to hit on her left and right. All guys want to have sex with her.
- Everytime she goes out, guys are licking her ass, and do everything she wants, as they think thats the way to get into her panties.
- All guys are super, super insecure around her, and treat her super nice.

-She finds rich Boyfriend (Sponsor) who buys her everything. He's fun for a while, after some time she dumps him.
- When she asks for something she gets it!

Now you can see a problem. Everyone wants to create rapport with her, and is super nice. So basically to be different, and to create attraction, you need to break every possible rapport with her. And don't want to connect with her at all. You need to be different then everyone else. You need to show that you are not affected with her beauty at all, and you dont think she is special at all. You need to be total selfish bastard.
This is part of game I love to play.

With those girls, there is no Rapport at all. She needs to create rapport with you. On first sign that you like her and you want to connect with her may be a turn off for her.
She knows she can get everything she wants, and when she start getting it, it gets boring. So dont give her what she wants. Consciously or Unconsciously.

10: Can you hand me this glass?
Me : You have arms and legs .

10 sms : „ I am helping my friend he has a problem with Gf, she takes drugs..blabla... He needs my help“
Me : „ Give him a Blowjob“

10 : I thik I want to live somewhere else, maybe New York, Or.. I donno.. Africa maybe as well
Me : „ yea, go to Jungle, thats best for you.

10 : I like Xy
Me : I hate Xy

Its interesting. She will stay around you as long as you do this. I personally feel very stupid being around those girls, But as for playing this game I Love it.

Be carefull with their IOI's.

From time to time they will throw something very personal, like a compliment.. but its only a test on the unconscious level.
”You are so special, I love to be around you, no one makes me feel so sexy... I like you, I cant stop thinking about you....“

Something like this will happen after you become very strong in her life, and you think the game is over. You think she is yours, you got her. BUT
I made this mistake so many times. If you reply something like “I like you too.. I am thinking about you as well“ If you do this its game over. You lost her. You showed affection. You are just like all other guys.

This is super sensitive game with them.You can make only one mistake.

Its best if you just keep it rolling, and stay congruent with your original image.
Its very hard, but you must be total non-emotional dick with them.

Attitude to have is “She is just little kid that peed in her panties, and is crying for attention.“

An Opener I love to use on these girls is, “Are you a Man or a Woman“ with a totally serious face.

Let the bitch qualify herself.

10's are not that hard at all when you are around them alone. The only problem with 10's is you cant find them in regular life, and there are not enough of them even at the best nightclubs.

Badboy

Another Video From Badboy

Badboy talks about the right mindset to have during pickup...

Great stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7hgnu7kcPg

Check out a Preview of the New DVD Series

You can view it here:

http://www.badboylifestyles.com/webUI/eng/product_details.aspx?id=98726

Below is a customer testimonial about it.

Enjoy!

- S

Message: I just want to let you know how great I think your video is on this page: http://www.badboylifestyles.com/webUI/eng/product_details.aspx?id=98726 Everyone else makes videos about picking up women, but your video appeals to me because it's not just about picking up women, it's about creating an amazing lifestyle, the lifestyle I've been imagining for myself since before I ever even heard of your company. Great work! -Rob C.

Emotional Momentum

It's important to keep emotional momentum going after you've met a girl and are in the process of seducing her. One of the best tools for doing that without overextending yourself is text messages.

Come up with an arsenal of cute/funny/interesting txts you can send starting the night you meet her (if you aren't taking her home ;) and through the next few days... You should have an actual phone conversation within 2-3 days of meeting, but keeping a txt exchange going insures that you stay fresh in her mind and maintain her positive emotional associations with you.

Allowing a lag time to happen after a cold approach can kill your momentum. It can be shocking how much girls are creatures of the moment... A set that seems unbelievably on suddenly doesn't answer your call two days later. Why? She's moved on emotionally. Basically, she forgot how much she was into you that night, met someone else and doesn't feel it anymore.

Most women to an extent have emotional ADD until you cement a truly solid connection with them. They are all over the place and follow impulses and stimuli as they come along. Take this into account and use it to your advantage by making sure that you are one of those ongoing stimuli by keeping in touch regularly with txt messages.

BadBoy Ebook Now Available!

The Badboy LifeStyle Seduction Guide is now available for the first time ever to men who are ready to learn REAL Game from the European Masters…

Discover The Natural Seducer Already Inside You And Unleash Your Full Power As A Man With The Comprehensive Guide To The Most Effective Form Of Seduction In The World!

This is not a “pickup” book.

It’s not a series of tricks, cheesy pickup lines, games or other nonsense to help you fool a woman into sleeping with you.

It is a complete guide on how to change your life, and yourself, to become a powerful more confident man who’s irresistible to women.

Learn More Here: http://tinyurl.com/235o8u

A Video Message From BadBoy!

New Program! - Advanced Level II Workshop

For the first time ever, Badboy Lifestyles will be offering for players who want to take it to the NEXT level... The Badboy Lifestyle LEVEL II Advanced Seduction workshop.

This 7 hour, one day seminar with BadBoy will be held in London April 8th and will cover:

• Honing your Direct Approach (You may think you're good now, but there are even more tricks up our sleeves to push you to even better results.)

• Mastering Social Circle Game (Surround yourself with women and never have to do a cold approach again.)

• Threesomes (Foolproof ways to set them up and keep them going.)
  

• Lifestyle Design (Arranging YOUR particular life along with your home for optimal results.)

• And much, much more...

This program is open to previous Badboy students of workshops or the CD Set, as well as other players who think they have what it takes to go to the next level...

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Boyfriend are BS - Ebook Excerpt

Last night I made out with a girl who had a boyfriend... I found out because the girl's friend mentioned the guy and made sure I heard it when she saw I was gaming her friend. Then later the girl mentioned something about her boyfriend. How do you deal with this?

YOU IGNORE. Nod, say nothing about it and move on...

By the end of the night she was making out with me and we have a date for this weekend...

If I had gotten into some discussion over the guy or tried to talk about him, this never would have happened. It just would have cemented the reality that what we were doing was wrong and the guy was part of our reality... Boyfriends are bullshit. Ignore their existence and game girls normally and create a new world with just the two of you... unless the guy is standing right next to her of course.

Check out the excerpt from the upcoming ebook below:


--------------------------------------

From the New BBL Ebook

Don’t talk about her boyfriend at all. First, because the guy probably doesn’t even exist. It’s just a shit test early on. And second, if he does exist, the more you talk about him the more you reinforce that it matters and that she shouldn’t cheat. If you do a good job in sucking her into your reality, and ignore the concept of the boyfriend, she will do the same and pretend he’s not in the picture. Again lead and she will follow. The key to seduction is how you make them feel. If you play it right and skirt around the boyfriend concept with discretion, she will feel comfortable being with you whether he’s real or not.

EBook Release Date!

So, the word finally came down on the official release date of the new Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide Ebook... March 1st.

It's official. It will be available through the site and I will have links to it from the blog and through the NEWSLETTER, which you should already be signed up for ....

- S

Take Care of Yourself

Too many guys go out looking like crap. Go buy a bunch of men's fashion magazines. Look at guys who are serious players. Choose a style based on that. Then go into your closet and THROW OUT ALL YOUR DORKY FUCKING CLOTHES. NOW!

If you don't need them for work, you should not be wearing them. Go to the store and buy cool clothes. If you have no ideas on what to buy, get them from magazines, or better yet, get a hot girl... doesn't matter if she's your sister to help you pick them out. Whatever you buy, make sure they fit right. Ask the sales girls whether the large or the medium look better. Ill fitting clothes are a sign of social retardation and a lack of fashion sense.

You are NEVER going to get a hot girl wearing a dorky sweater and straight cut jeans that don't fit you. You don't need to "peacock" but you need to be wearing something that says you are unique and have a personal style. Choose a style, study examples of it and then dress for it.

GET IN SHAPE. I can't stress this enough. If you are fat and/or doughy, it's hurting your success with women. And 90% likely, it is your fault. Unless you have some sort of medical condition stopping you, get your ass in shape. Stop eating like shit. Work out daily. Even if it's 20 minutes in your house. You don't need to join a gym. I know plenty of guys who work out at home... Go to www.dragondoor.com and www.bodyweightculture.com for ideas on how. Being out of shape triggers a biological turn off for women. We are working to appeal to her instincts. Her instincts tell her to mate with a fit mate. Don't handicap yourself by sending mixed signals with a fat unhealthy body.

Being well dressed and in shape are CHOICES. They reflect things not only on the outside, but are excellent looks into your psyche. Respecting yourself enough to dress sharply and take care of yourself are both signs of an alpha male mind that she will instinctively notice, register and respond to... before you've even said a word.

Mastering Hard Sets

Not every set will go easily. Some will screw with you and not give you any initial signs of Attraction. Deal with it. This is part of the game. In all honesty, some of the hottest girls I’ve slept with were completely hostile when I met them. Dealing with shit tests and hostile sets is part of getting good. You need to learn a few things to master this…

There are a few reasons girls will act up like this but the main one is that they are testing your frame. They are checking to see if you will curl your tail up and run away to the corner like a wounded kitten. They don’t want kittens. They want lions. One of the best skills you can learn is non-reactivity. When you have mastered non-reactivity, you will not respond or flinch at any of the nonsense they throw at you. Non-reactivity shows that you have a strong ego and that you are above her. Whatever she does to try to affect you is ineffective because she is not powerful enough to hurt you. Her shit tests are irrelevant. They amuse you.

This doesn’t mean she is “worthless” or that you don’t care what she has to say… It just means that she is not capable of shifting your reality or your positive view of yourself. You are a powerful alpha male, not some apologetic chode who hangs on the words of some random girl. You live in your world, not hers.

One of BadBoy’s favorite tactics to deal with shit tests is to just smile and say, “Shhh…I’m talking, my dear.” And then continue on with the story he’s telling. When you smile and say it in an amused non-reactive way, the girl will be sucked into YOUR reality. Often she will laugh and be amused by your response…the same as you are. She follows your emotional lead. Your reality has won. You have won. You have passed her test. You are now in control.

BadBoy talks a lot about this in the new ebook. The importance of Frames, Power Differentials and more tactics on how to deal with Shit Tests and the underlying dynamics of what is TRULY going on in these situations is covered in great detail.

For more on the topic, I suggest you pick it up when it’s released later this month…

Best,

Steve

$150 off a Badboy Seduction Workshop!

Contact me to sign up for a bootcamp in the next 48 hours and I'll take $150 off the price.

Now's the time to get this part of your life in order and learn the skills for a lifetime that will get you the women you want and the lifestyle you deserve.

Mail me now at Steve@badboylifestyles.com to take advantage of the offer.

Study: Testosterone is Attractive

Scientific evidence backing up everything BBL has been teaching for years. See article below...

Women want masculine men for sexual relationships and nice guys for domestication, child rearing and emotional support.

This study only talks about physical characteristics, but doesn't touch on the most important indicator of hormonal balance...behavior.

High testosterone, alpha male behavior is a huge indicator of where you sit on this hormonal scale...and it's luckily the one thing we can control. How you behave will totally determine, from the very moment a woman meets you, which category she slots you into. And we want to be in the masculine, sexually desirable category for sure.

The title of this article is misleading (like most info from the social matrix)... Any guy who is masculine and able to have a girl for a sexual "fling" can have her for a relationship if he wants. He's the one in control. It's his decision. She has given herself to him. But the reverse isn't true. Nice guys who are kept around to supplicate and buy dinner don't suddenly drive a girl sexually crazy. He gets to stay around as long as he's obedient and fulfills his subservient provider/listener role. Don't get caught in the latter position...

So ask yourself honestly, where does your behavior put you? Are you the highly sexual desirable alpha male she's dying to spread her legs for, or are you the emasculated nice guy she thinks she can make into her lap dog?


-------------------------
How Women Pick Mates vs. Flings

Abigail W. Leonard
Special to LiveScience
LiveScience.comTue Jan 2, 12:10 PM ET

Science might be able to explain our fascination with Brad Pitt's chiseled jaw and George Clooney's smoldering eyes.

Women seem to judge potential mates by how masculine their features are, new research shows. Men with square jaws and well-defined brow ridges are seen as good short-term partners, while those with more feminine traits such as a rounder face and fuller lips are perceived as better long-term mates.

In the study, 854 male and female subjects viewed a series of male head shots that had been digitally altered to exaggerate or minimize masculine traits. The participants then answered questions about how they expected the men in the photos to behave.

Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting. Those with more feminine faces were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates [compare examples].

Despite all the negative attributes, when asked who they would choose for a short-term relationship, women still selected the more masculine looking men. Brad and George then would be picks for a brief romance, if not the long haul.

Makes sense

The study, detailed in the December issue of the journal Personal Relationships, reached conclusions similar to research published earlier last year in Britain.

The new study's author, Daniel Kruger at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, said that from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense women would view more masculine-looking men as potential flings and less masculine-looking ones as long-term partners.

The key, he said, is testosterone, the hormone responsible for development of masculine facial features and other secondary sexual characteristics.

Testosterone is necessary for development, but can also have detrimental health effects. It has been shown, for example, to interfere with the body's immune response, so men who are able to maintain high levels of the hormone are typically strong and healthy—traits women would want to pass on to their progeny.

Increased testosterone has also been linked to male cheating and violence in relationships, so while these men might produce high quality offspring, they don't always make great parents or faithful mates, Kruger says.

The study suggests women could be equipped to use seemingly superficial characteristics "as a cue to pick up on trends in these behavioral strategies," Kruger said.

Get a clue

There are plenty of these signals in the animal world. Male peacocks' huge, outrageous tails can make foraging for food and evading predators difficult, but the plumage, which many researchers say indicates male fitness, is so effective at luring females that the trait has been preserved in the population, Kruger points out.

While the findings are compelling, the scientific community has typically greeted the field of physiognomy, which links facial characteristics to certain behavioral traits, with skepticism.

Kruger argues, however, that the research is a valuable tool for understanding mating strategies. And, of course, for explaining how Pitt and Clooney managed to snag People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" title two times each—it might have to do with their genes, but could also have something to do with ours.

Internet vs. In Field

A lot of guys swear by the internet for getting girls, but in actuality it isn't any easier than just going out and finding girls on your own, if you know what you are doing. Most of the girls I've seen guys pull off the internet have been 7s at best. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I've yet to see one... You can walk out your front door and pull 6s and 7s all the time. Who cares?

If you take the two hours you spend mailing girls online and get your ass into a target rich environment, you can meet as many hot girls as you want, probably more, because most of the hot ones won't mail you back online anyway...the 6s will of course. If you don't look like a male model in your pics, you can still charm and seduce a hot woman in person with tight game. If you are good in field, just about every girl will talk to you, giving you a fair chance at seducing her. Plus, you are improving your skills and becoming a better seducer by practicing on a regular basis.

Also, when you do manage to set up a meet with a girl online, the guy with more in field experience will be MUCH better equipped to convert this opportunity into sex becase he's better calibrated, more skilled and more experienced.

In field, you can tell what a girl really looks like so there won't be any "surprises" when she's 25 lbs heavier or has acne. In field, you can tell whether you really like a girl's personality in 5 minutes so you don't waste your time on girls that aren't your type or are annoying, stupid, whatever... It's much better to get your girls in field.

In the long run, you will have hotter girls for the same time commitment if you get your ass off the computer and into the bars. If you are happy with 6s, then stick to the internet, which is fine. More hot girls for me in field... ;)

Tip on Pulling Girls Home

Sometimes, when a girl wants to come home with you, it's tough to get her to do it because her friends are in the way and she doesn't want to look like a slut.

A way to get around this is to try and catch her in the window of time between when she's leaving her friends and going home. She's alone and can do what she really wants then...

You've gotten the girls number and left. Now wait until 15-20 minutes after the venue has closed. Then text message her something funny. Get an exchange going and then tell her, "I'm tired. Heading home. Want to come?"

If you did your job and had attraction and she really wants you, she will very often take advantage of the opportunity. If not, just post her back..."Okay... Talk to you soon. Don't miss me too much. ;)" ...Or something like that and proceed normally, call her in a few days, etc...

If you don't think you have enough attraction to pull her yet, tell her you are going to eat and she should come meet you. Then you can finish the job over food and pull her home after that.

Sometimes it's easier to pull the girl via txt or phone call if there are a ton of obstacles in your way in the venue. Keep that in mind when you are driving home at night. If you have a few numbers, mass txt them all and it's likely one will take you up on it...

New Ebook

Just read the final draft of the new BBL e-book and have to say... It's awesome! You guys will not be disappointed by the wait...

It's basically divided into three sections:

Inner Game and the Badboy Philosophy - which teaches you how to completely change the way you look at the world, yourself and women.

Seduction Techniques - nitty gritty stuff on how to approach, how to get attraction, how to improvise in pickup settings, how to build rapport, how to close, phone game, dating, etc...

Living the Badboy Lifestyle and Advanced Topics - How to manage multiple relationships, how to hold on to girls, how to get rid of them, how to create a lifestyle that women will want to be a part of...

This book really covers everything you need to transform yourself from into a badass seducer. All you have to do is put in the work.

It's about changing yourself and to do that you will have to change the way you think, the way you act and the way you live in every area... But it is truly acheivable if you really want it.

Go Out

If you are learning pickup you need to go out....alot. Think of it like practice, not socializing initially. Find a wing and go to target rich venues, even for just a little while.

You don't have to go out all night like you do with your friends. You don't have to get drunk and spend a lot of money.

Go for 1 or two hours to the closest venue. Approach every good set and leave. Once you get good, you won't be able to leave and you won't have to open many girls. They will start to hook and your success rate will be much higher than when you started... Once this happens, you can back off on going out all the time. You're starting to get it....

Be a Real Fucking Man

Awesome article by Nirpal Dhaliwal... Enjoy.

- S

-------------

At a dinner party recently, I encountered the depressingly familiar sight of a thirty- something woman accompanied by a nerdy male sidekick that she'd browbeaten into proposing to her. The mismatch in power was obvious. She was successful, ambitious and confident; he was a diffident, overweight, shrinking violet who measured every word he spoke in case he said anything remotely contentious that might offend her.

On her wedding finger was the most enormous, glittering engagement ring. A mutual friend later told me she'd initially been presented with a less garish but more exquisite diamond but had told her fiancÈ to return it to the shop and get her something bigger. That huge diamond was his declaration of surrender in the sex war, but I didn't feel sorry for the stupid sap; he should have been man enough to tell her to get lost and find some other dummy.

Instead, he'd been sucker-punched into a lifetime of nagging and neglect, and looking at his bossy wife-to-be parading her huge rock, I felt a shiver of pre-emptive schadenfreude. Her smug smile might have given the impression that her glossy-magazine-inspired life was all going to plan, but I could see the tragedy to come. One day she'll realise how dull and unfulfilling it is to have a man who doesn't answer back, who offers no challenge or danger - but by then she'll be over the hill and stuck with him for fear of being left on the shelf. Sadly, this is the state of many marriages today.

Back in the Nineties, emboldened by the successes of feminism, women sought to slay the dragon of patriarchy by turning men into ridiculous sissies who would cry with them through chick-flicks and then cook up a decent lasagne. Suddenly, women wanted to drive home their newfound equality by moulding men to be more like them.

This velvet revolution was reflected in a series of broader cultural changes. After decades of uncompromising movie heroes like Marlon Brando and Clint Eastwood, we were asked to fall for stuttering, floppy-haired fops like Hugh Grant; touchy-feely and hopelessly embarrassed around women. No doubt at the time, millions of misguided single women thought that having a man who could feel their pain and emote for Britain was romantic and wonderful.
Now, over a decade later, women are waking up to the fact that these men are drippy, sexless bores. The feminisation of men hasn't produced the well-rounded uber-males women were hoping for. Instead, women are now lumped with flabby invertebrates, little more than doormats, whom they secretly despise but are too proud to admit it. Rather than partnership, professional women tend to seek dominance in a relationship. They map their lives out early on and pursue their dream of 'having it all' with cold-blooded ruthlessness. Young women have a crystal-clear agenda: they want the career, the wardrobe, the smartly furnished house, the 4x4 and the cute kids they'll ferry in it to expensive schools. No man is going to get in their way; and the men they choose for themselves are pliant and feeble enough to facilitate that programme.
Concentrating so much energy on work and family matters requires these women to pick a man who is predictable and secure, who won't upset the apple cart by pursuing dreams and instincts of his own. These are cardboard cut-out men who gush with empathy whenever their wives and girlfriends need to dump their professional stresses and female angst on them: weak and soulless men who haven't the guts to make a mark themselves, who take the passenger seat in their women's juggernaut journey to post-feminist Nirvana, but having ticked off the various items on their life checklist, women are left with a nagging sense of dissatisfaction.

Where was the drama? Where was the passion? Where was the stimulation and growth? It was all forsaken for an anodyne, materialistic shopping spree that is a "Good Thing," but ultimately a poor substitute for a real life. These women consider themselves to be alpha-females, but they are nothing but a pathetic sham. A true Amazon couldn't stand the company of a supplicant male, let alone marry one. Real alpha-women are the ones who can more than hold their own with an alpha-man.

Deep down, women love men who stand up to them, who won't be pushed around. They love men who will look them in the eye and tell them to shut up when their hormonal bickering has become too much. They love men who will draw a line in the sand and walk out on them when they've had enough. They love men who know their own minds and are man enough to stick to their guns.


I'm always telling my wife, the writer Liz Jones, to shut up. She gets into a prissy huff about it, but I know she respects me for not indulging her neuroticism. Long ago, I realised it is unhealthy for a man to embroil himself in arguments with women. While men want an argument to make sense and have a rational conclusion, women solely want the argument itself: it's a pressure valve for their emotions, and once they get started there is no stopping them. I have a very low boredom threshold; I can't bear having protracted discussions about where my wife and I 'are going'. Nor can I bear to listen to the gossipy, highly detailed 'He said, she said' monologues that women drift into when telling you about their day. I deal with these elements of the female personality with impassive indifference. People might call me a sexist pig, but I am the opposite. I love women, and I love my wife because she is brilliant and incredibly strong.

I am a true feminist, because I only want to be with a powerful and capable woman. No sexist could cope with having a wife as intelligent and independent as mine. Our relationship would never have worked had I been an effete New Man, desperately wanting to sympathise with the female condition. My wife would have grown to loathe me for my fawning cowardice. She is a warrior and she needs to be with someone who is a match for her. Knowing the limits of what I will deal with in a relationship, I maintain my self-respect and, accordingly, gain hers.

Men are now generally terrified of women. They hold their tongues for fear of being misinterpreted as sexist; they constantly attempt to secondguess their partner in order to avoid giving offence. They preen themselves with groaning shelves full of beauty products so they won't incur derision and scorn. They suppress their masculinity and present themselves as cuddly Mr Nice Guys, and won't project self- confidence in case it's regarded as unreconstructed machismo.

This backfiring feminist conspiracy has, of course, developed hand in hand with the march of raging political correctness in Britain. The two have combined like some potent chemical reaction to explode in the faces of a generation of women who thought that a 'moulded' man would make for a desirable one. In recent years, men have been trained like circus seals to be inoffensive to women, and no longer know how to entice them and turn them on, but women secretly long for a man with swagger, who is cocky and selfassured and has the cheek to stand up them and make fun of their feminine foibles.

They long for the rakish charm of a man who knows there's a whole ocean of fish out there, who isn't afraid of being himself in case he is rejected. The truth is, a real man doesn't care what any woman thinks of him. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him: he answers solely to his spirit. Real men don't pretend or even try to understand women. They simply love them for being the mysterious, capricious creatures that they are. And they don't take them too seriously, either. They know the vicissitudes of the female mind, its constant insecurities and the fluctuations in mood.

Rather than pander to them, they simply watch them drift by like so many clouds on the horizon. They don't get entangled in a woman's feelings and listen to her prattling on and on until she's talked herself out. Such strong and stoic men are exactly what women need to anchor themselves amid the chaos of their emotions.

Sometimes my wife bemoans my detachment and laissez-faire attitude to our marriage and wishes I were more wrapped up in her. I tell her she would soon get bored of it, because men who put women on a pedestal can't make love to them in the way that women want. A man who is too in awe of his woman isn't going to tear her blouse open and ravish her on the couch; he isn't going to pull her hair and whisper profanities in her ear. Whenever my marriage is at a crisis point, and my wife's ego and mine are jostling for a position of supremacy, we inevitably have strenuous, battling sex.

My wife is older and more successful than I am, but the bedroom has always been the arena in which I have brought her down to earth. The female orgasm is the natural mechanism by which men assert dominion over women: a man who appreciates this can negotiate whatever difficulties arise in his relationships with them.

Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I'd been cheating on her. On the night we got back together, I made strong, passionate love to her. Unfaithful as I'd been, I was not going to let her have me over a barrel for the rest of our marriage. I needed to keep a sense of self and not allow her to mire me in guilt and a desperate quest of forgiveness. I needed to let her know what she would be missing if we broke up for ever. I gave her a manful bravura performance that night, and at the height of her passion, I asked her: 'Who's the boss?' The question threw her. Initially she wouldn't give me a reply, but I enticed it from her. 'You are,' she finally gasped. 'You are!'

I am a very difficult man to be with. I know I have caused my wife great pain and anxiety. But she is an adult, and ultimately it is wholly her choice whether she wants to be with me or not - I cannot be anyone other than myself. I don't believe in working on relationships and making artificial efforts to give them substance. I believe in people being themselves and following their hearts towards whatever destiny lies before them.

When women choose to be with New Men, they are choosing a life that will be only half-lived. I think a lot of them are finally waking up to that fact. Relationships between independent and assertive people will always be fraught with tensions, but they have enormous creative energy.

Despite the many problems my wife and I have endured, we have both come a long way since we first met six years ago.

We have challenged one another to grow - professionally, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. This would never have happened had she flaked out and gone for a softer option in her choice of partner.

Bring back the real men, girls. You might just remember why you loved them in the first place

Approaching is Easy

Was just working with a student who was terrified to open. We talked over and over again about how a) You don't know these people. You are here to learn and their reactions during this process don't mean anything about who you are and your value as a person and b)It really doesn't matter what the hell you say to open.

He just couldn't seem to get over it though, so I told him, "Watch. I'm going to open with the stupidest thing I can think of." So I approached two girls and opened with, "Hey guys I have a really important question to ask you... My best friend just died. How long do I have to wait before I sleep with his girlfriend." One girl laughed and the other got really mad... I kept going. Two minutes later they were completely receptive and the set was going great.

The point was, it didn't matter what came out of my mouth. My subcommunications were strong and I didn't really care what their reactions were. Now if you open with something less offensive than this, you won't have to bother recovering if the girl gets mad. The student saw this got his balls together and started opening. Approaching can't hurt you unless you let it effect your ego... Which is entirely up to you.